Ever been sitting at that desk hoping and praying freedom of speech was actually encouraged? In your work place there's barely a 1% chance your boss will be okay with you speaking your mind out every time.
But there is a 0.5% chance he/she will be cool with you saying moron, idiot, sucker, and PG-13 words i.e. if it is followed by a joke or your resignation.
Same shit different day
To add on to that baggage, your boss's unpredictable behavior. My sister and I talk at least thrice a month and sometimes I feel bad for her and what her boss puts her through. On the hand it is hilarious. My sister has quite a few ideas and would definitely like to give a piece of her mind to everyone who messed with her. That's for sure. I suppose many others feel the same way?
For all you frustrated souls who have so much of built up hate for your boss, this one is for you!
Things you wish you could say to your boss and get away with :
1. Kahan phas gayi yaar!
2. Buddha mar kyu nahi jata?
3. Aaj bhi overtime! Sure, kyu nahi? Meri thodi koi life hai!
4.Mohit in Marketing is so hot! I think my boss is jealous.That's why she never puts us on a project together. B***h.
5. Describe my boss? You know how a menu says BIRYANI but it's just PULAO rice?
Well, interview ke din Biryani wala feeling. Kaam karne pe Pulao wala feeling
6.Promotion dega toh mar jayega kya?
7.Why couldn't they just mention Office and other work included? After office hours, beti ka birthday hai, gift khareedo,
Fees pay karo,
Iske liye ye lao
Uske liye woh layo.
Assistant hu yaar, naukar nahi!"
8. Oh! The coffee is too black? Just like your heart?
9. Not allowed to sleep in the office? Toh ghar ja ne do na yaar!
10. You don't like the way I dress? Feel free to increase my bank balance!
11. You want me to wear heels? You should be glad I don't, one would be stuck in your head by now!
12. The file should be completed before lunch?
Ahem. . .did you notice it is LUNCH TIME!
13. Neha is a better assistant than me? Is it? Sabse zyaada back bitching woh hi karti hai
14. Leave kyun chahiye? Bus chaihye !
15. Boss : "You look like you haven't slept for a week!"
Me : Chalo notice toh ki-
Boss : Stop partying late
Me: Stop giving me work from home' projects!
16. Boss: I cannot grant you leave. Your colleagues are on leave as well
Me : SO?
17. Boss : You are capable of much more
Me: Trust me, I'm working on how to get away with murder. Waiting to test it out
18. Boss: You messed up the meeting timings! Everybody else is smarter than you. You are good for nothing!
Me: You told me to change the timings every two seconds, you moron! I think I need a break
19. Boss : You are one of our best employees. You deserve better. I love your work. You deserve a promotion! 2 years later, still waiting for that promotion.
20. I don't really NEED to leave work early.I want to!
21. Remember the time you found a bug in your coffee? Actually, that's the one I stepped on while make it for you
22. Stop sending me a friend request, you horrible, horrible beast of a person!
23. "You think I'm always grumpy? Have you even looked in a mirror? I have to look at you every day!"
24.I love my job. I love you, boss. But sometimes I wish I could kick you out!
25. Stop telling me to act like a responsible businessman. You are the businessman. If I were to act like one, you'd be my competitor
26. Stop 'casually' poking your nose into my love life. That's the last thing I wanna share with you
27. I don't care why you hate Jenna on the third floor. Stop telling me stories and let me go!
28. Stop with all the family reunions at my work place. Give me three days off instead!
Conclusion : Have I missed out any? Feel free to add-on to the list. I honestly hope all the readers are in a better mood and if any bosses are reading this, they can be extra careful now.