I`m In A Relationship And I`m Free. What Is Freedom According To You Girls?

Date: 2018-02-02 11:50:20

By Erica



Many Bollywood movies or movies in general, have shown us relationships wherein the boy is dominating or the girlfriend ties him down with all the unnecessary drama. This leads teens and elders too believe what a relationship is today.

I've heard friends tell me that their parents are very strict and prefer if they didn't date anybody while studying. Firstly, if you don't do it, you won't experience it for yourself. It's not always favorable to learn from other's mistakes.

But, what does freedom in a relationship mean to you? You say you want it. You say that you don't want a guy who keeps telling what to do all the time. You want space and air to breathe. Is that what freedom means to you? Space and air? Or does it mean communicating when words are really needed? Talking to each other when boundaries are crossed?

Here is my version of freedom in a relationship. Top 5 just for you :

1. He trusts me to make my own choices

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From little things like ordering at a restaurant to choosing a career line. It's all my choice. He will advice me and make me see the good and bad, but the ultimate choice is left to me.

2. I`m not tracked

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When I got out with friends, girls or guys are irrelevant, I am not tracked. I enjoy my day (days) out with my friends and come back to the boyfriend I left at home. He doesn't keep calling. He waits for me to call because it's my trip and all he wants to know is whether I`m safe or not

3. Absence of insecurity

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Just because he is scared that he might lose me, doesn't mean he keeps me chained to him. Just because he thinks I might fall in love with my guy best friend, doesn't mean he can tell me to end the friendship. I won't. I know his insecurities are valid. I have them too. But I won't let me insecurities stop him from living.

4. I choose my wardrobe

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This is not only about choices. This is about feeling good in what I wear. If he doesn't like my long skirt or hates the wear my sweater covers my entire body, I don't care. when I dress up, I don't want it to be something I do under the scrutiny of my boyfriend/girlfriend.

5. My secret stash

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By stash I mean money, here. I don't want to be told where to spend and how to spend the money I have. The money earned by me can be wasted or utilized anywhere I want it to be. Yes, he can guide me or alert me when I turn into a spendthrift. But I don't want an accountant for a boyfriend.

Relationships turn ugly in early stages when the girl isn't able to express herself and the boy believes that she is not one to express herself and she will do as he says. These kinds of relationships are toxic. You don't need a guardian. You want someone who is in love with you.

When you get irritated, tell him. When you think he is crossing a line, tell him. It's not necessary that everything he says and does is for your good. Maybe he has forgotten that you are capable of making decisions for yourself.

Girls, freedom isn't going on road trips and breaking up with your boyfriend. Freedom in a relationship is when you both are wearing smiles because you are genuinely happy. You plan trips with friends, not to escape from him, but for a holiday or outing with the gang. You don't consider changing your phone number because he can track you. Remember that the key to any good relationship is communication.

If you don't talk to each other and sit updating Snapchat stories hoping he will get the message, then you are digging your grave. If you don't like being asked, 'kaha thi?', 'kyu gayi thi?', 'ye koi time hai ghar aane ka?', then tell him you don't like this interrogation.

On the other hand, if he gives you all the freedom you need and then stops you from one thing, don't start throwing shoes and utensils at his head. He isn't restricting you. Probably he sees some danger you are overlooking. Just talk.

TAGS: relationships, toxic relationship ban, girlfriend, understanding, freedom, talk, decisions, free


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