They say, a mother-in-law can never be a mother, she can never love you in the way as your mother loves you, she can never take care of you as your mother did when you were living with her but mother-in-law is too a daughter and a mother to someone and she has hidden qualities of being a good mother, you need the vision to see that because every new relationship brings lots of efforts along and you have to show your efforts to make it perfect. Ways in which you can build a motherly bond with your mother-in-law...
You used to have arguments with your mother all the time and you never take those as a big deal so why to take these arguments as a big deal. Having arguments in any relationship is healthy and having those with your mother-in-law will help both of you to know each other better.
She is a great cook and you are not. So what? Apart from getting jealous or stressing about being good than her, learn from her as you used to learn from your mother. There is nothing wrong in accepting that in some things you can be bad too and she is also not perfect, she would have her own weaknesses. Be each other's support.
Plan shopping or lunch dates, have a gala time, which you used to have with your own mother. Take her on nice dates and make her feel like she is important to you and in return, she will too make her own efforts in accepting you as her own daughter.
If you have felt bad about something she did or she said, share it as we all do with our mothers. Let her know why you felt bad and what exactly? This will build a sort of understanding within her.
Sit with her, talk about anything and spend quality time with her. When at home, have lunch together or cook something together. Mark my words, slowly and steadily you both will start loving spending time with each other.
When your mother used to scold you how you used to just listen and apologize, likewise do this with her too. If you know you are wrong, there should be no shame in accepting that, say sorry and keep your side of the story too in a polite way.
Respect her for what she is and show that in your actions by helping her when you feel she needs it, listen to her advice and pamper her like your own mother.
Include her for family outings, on decisions and on every activity, which is related to the family as a whole. Just don't let her feel like an outsider.
Don't be like "he is my husband and he should listen to me". NO, you came much after, he was and he would be a son first and let him fulfill that duty and responsibility. That's a right of every mother to hold his son for life even though after he gets married. She gave birth to him and she would always have a right on him first. Don't come in between the mom and son bonding.
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