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Delhi, We Did It! We Made The Hazardous Air More Hazardous Because 'Ek Din To Aati Hai Diwali, Sehlenge!'

Date: 2018-11-09 01:20:09

By Manveen

"Kahin raakh hai toh kahin dhuaan dhuaan"
"Aur bhaisahab Diwali kaisi rahi?"
"Pehle sutte ke dhuyein mein ab Dilli ke dhuyein mein"


It was around November 8, 2017, that the pollution in Delhi had crossed Air Quality Index of 999, way above the highest point of worst air quality condition but beating its own record in 2018, Delhi has exceeded even that limit but, kya hogaya? Diwali comes once in a year, no?

Diwali comes once in a year and do you want to know what else comes once in a lifetime? Asthma, Cancer, Death, etc.

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If you actually google the quality of air in Delhi, the air quality is the worst of any major city in the world. Yes, read the word "world" again. China has the Great Wall and we have the Great Smog, we have achieved greatness in one way or-or the other. But our greatness will be exceptional to other greatnesses known to the world. Ours will be short-lived, oh, wait, no actually our lives will be short-lived. Once we are dead or dying we will hand over the torch of smog to our neighboring states, Gurgaon and Noida are already bracing themselves for it. Behold U.P. and Haryana you have to let the world know that you achieved the great smog from us and continue passing on the torch to others. May the world remember us and our legacy.

"Gupta ji aapko pata hai maine apne bete ko diwali pe kya kya leke diya?"
"Clothes, sweets, crackers, asthma, cancer and soon we will go on a long vacation of death."


Despite all that Delhites are funny people and their government even funnier. When the internet demanded the Capital to stop and put a hold on the whole smog situation, they protested saying that everybody is acting Anti Hindu.



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But we want to share something with you first, hear us out.
Ram ji was with Laxman, Hanuman, and 24509 others at Lanka and put up a status "feeling blessed, bringing Sita Mata back" and people of Ayodhya commented "Siya Pati Ram Chandra ki Jai, Pavan Putra Hanuman ki Jai"
"Pavan Putra",
"Pavan" means air a
nd air aka smog in Delhi. Delhiites, what have you done? How can you be so anti national? Anti Hindu?
How would Hanuman ji feel about this?

Listen fellow Delhiites, Hanuman Ji once ate the sun okay? And he also set Lanka on fire. He's god we are not. Let us not upset him, okay?
Let us write an apology letter to him and plant more trees and try making our "pavan" as clean as we can.


"But what about Diwali?"

See, you work an entire month/year to earn/save money and comes this one day and you go buy crackers that are for no reason just plain expensive and then you come home and light them up with extra caution and supervision so you do not hurt yourself and once you light it, you run for your life away from it and before you realize it bursts for a second, colorful visuals happen for a moment and poof they are gone and the sound they make is not even pleasant.

Pleasures of nanoseconds.



Then you do this again whilst your whole point was to see colorful visuals that would make you happy.
Bro? So much money and effort for a few seconds.
Now think smart and long-term.


Instead, invest in software, make graphics on your screen all year long and add any song of your choice in the backdrop, use Adobe Premiere Pro and you can add despacito with your cracker visuals. Put it on a bigger screen and invite your entire mohalla to see it. Sharma Ji ka beta will look like a fool in front of you, achievement unlocked. Mishra ji's crackers visuals come with Anup Jalota in the backdrop and Sunny paaji will have "Yeah baby" in his and that too at no cost. Everybody will have a competition to take part in, put a fully automatic washing machine as first prize and aunties will take part too.

Kya fun aayengey!


Now coming to another point.
Paise bach gaye? Hogayi saving?
December is almost coming and with it massive Christmas/ New Year sales, spend it on clothes girls. You can always use extra bucks at Forever 21 and guys, kab tak beer/old monk pe rahogey? Paise bachao Jack Daniels ke saath Diwali manao.


If the current air quality situations do not bother you, god knows what will. Dussehra pe ravaan bhasm hoyega and Diwali pe Dilli waale. For the sake of your own good, Delhi people please stop and make amends. Diwali is just one day and you have an entire lifetime to live.


TAGS: diwali after effects, delhi pollution after diwali, delhi hazardous air pollution

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