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Dear First Relationship: Thank You For The Lessons You Left Me With

Date: 2018-11-30 18:35:50

By Erica

When I was in the 8th grade, girls were fawning over boys, hiding love letters, threatening to cut their wrists because he didn't reply, blah, blah. I swore I wouldn't date. It seemed like too much of a hassle. Plus, my mom told me not to until I was mature enough.
But things happen when they have to, no doubt there. I blame God and his plans not the text messages we send or the confessions we make to our crushes. It's easier that way. Also, it is human tendency to blame the most clueless person for the deed gone wrong.
I did something different for this article. I felt it deserved a public opinion. So, I conducted a survey! That's right. All the lessons below are by people who have been in relationships. Some successfully rowed the love boat to shore. Some drowned halfway in. Some continue to brave the rough sea. One confession is by the writer of this article. Can you guess which one?

Also, if you learned a horrid lesson or one that you continue to learn to this very day - SHARE! Everybody loves a good story with a moral.


1. Don't go ahead with a relationship if you know it will not work



At some point, you had a gut feeling it is going nowhere. But at the time it felt like it was the best thing in the world. Sometimes it is okay to not think about the future. But blanking it out completely is not a good idea either.

2. That falling in love is one beautiful thing but to deal with its imperfections is a difficult task.


Love is not perfect. Not easy. People are hard to understand. Relationships are hard work so one thing you learn is that imperfections are to be understood and accepted and worked on. Not ignored.

3. Anger destroys happiness


The quickest way to hurt someone or ruin a relationship forever is anger. Anger kills all chances at happiness. It does. So remember never ever to get angry with someone you love. Contain it, suppress it. Don't let it control you.

4. Independence and privacy must be respected


Just because an 'ideal couple' checks each other's gallery and reads each other's private messages to others, it doesn't mean you have to do the same.

Privacy is to be respected and above that individual independence is to be valued.

5. There's nothing like true love


It takes one heartbreak to leave you scarred forever. With time wounds heal –that's true. But when trust and loyalty are taken for granted it is a little hard to get back out there and wear your heart on your sleeve.

Don't let the candle of hope burn out. True love exists and the one who breaks through your walls will be the one to turn our world upside down (positively!)

6. How can you love someone so deeply?


The first relationship makes you wonder how all of a sudden a living breathing person is more important to you than watching your favorite show? Going out all by yourself to eat your favorite pizza? Going on a trip without him next to you? How you've become this caring, concerned person? Maybe you were always like this but he brought out something more. The best of you.

7. A lesson


It might've been ugly. You might've been betrayed. Cheated on. But that doesn't mean you give up. You are capable of loving someone more than yourself. You deserve love. Maybe it didn't work out the first time.

Neither did Thomas Edison's attempt at the light bulb!

8. Don't lose your self-respect


Don't let your lover be the boss of you. You are you and nobody can take that away.

9. To have a broader aspect of life and to move on


It's okay to move on. Don't worry about breaking a promise of loving him forever and categorizing every other person as bad as your ex. Don't think you will never find anyone as amazing as him again.
Let go of the past.
Embrace your future.

10. Being Honest, being carefree, expressing your expression of love!


Being with someone you love for the first time teaches you so many lessons. Honesty and expressing your love are some of the important ones. They build the foundation of your relationship.

11. Boys are the worst.


If it was a bad experience it might drive you to stereotype.

12. Patience


Be patient. Be kind. Devote time to each other and yourself. Don't get too involved in each other that you forget to live.

13. Not to blindly trust


Being vulnerable is alright.
Being reckless and stupid in love is understandable.
But trusting someone who is not worth a second glance is not.

14. Understanding


Understand that you love each other enough and more to let the other live his/her life on his/her terms.

15. Never date again!!! #stay single


Sometimes your first relationship makes you wonder, "yaar, main soch kya rahi thi?"

16. Should have waited for the perfect one


Why?! Don't regret anything. You hear me? If you hadn't made a mistake or hadn't met someone who made you realize it's not time for you to fall in true love yet, then what is so bad about that?
Next time you will know for sure.
You will be with your better half.

17. To think of your lover before yourself.


Be selfless.
Lekin agar ek piece pizza hai toh thoda selfish ban sakte ho. Where there's pizza, no rules apply.

18. Take time to know her better


Take time to know each other. It might sound old school but it is very important. Don't rush into things.

19. Doubts won't let you live with your partner.


Clear things up. Don't be afraid. It's okay to worry what they might think or say, doesn't mean you let your mind go into overdrive and create scenarios that never even happened.

20. Give a chill pill to your ego


If one of you gets angry, the other has to try to know why. Do not let your ego get in the way of love.

21. Believe their actions not words


Don't fall for the sugar-coated words, the flattery. Does he worry when you don't reach home and text him? Does he bring a smile to your face with a flower or a cupcake? Does he keep his promise and quit bad habits?
Actions speak louder than words, girl.

22. "It was f****** bullshit. It taught me to stay strong. It taught me to act wisely. It taught me to think smart. It taught me to give priority to myself and family. It taught me that all the people out here will want you until the time you are important to them."


Bad heartbreak? Learn from it. Don't change yourself but change the way you do certain things. Don't think you are the problem, know that whatever happens, happens for the best.

23. It was beautiful until you got dumped and realized he was a total jerk. Don't go on looks and popularity.


You thought he was hot and good looking. His dressing sense made it clear he wouldn't break your heart, right?
We've all been there. Done that.

24. Choose wisely


You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. But you get to have a say in who breaks your heart.
I read that beautiful line in a book and I know for a fact that it is true.

25. Take time to understand the person instead of hurriedly declaring you are in love.


Don't rush. Good things take time.

26. He can leave. You've got your friends.


At the end of the day if you got your mates, you've got the world in the palm of your hand because they are your world, aren't they? Consider your 'lover' just a visitor.

27. Sacrifice


There's got be give and take and compromise.

28. It is the most beautiful feeling ever


You finally took the plunge! You were afraid of those lovey-dovey couples, now you have waltzed into their world.
Forget that crap.

Focus on the boy in front of you. Look how he smiles when he sees you, how he laughs at your worst jokes, how he motivates you when you think the world is conspiring against you when nobody seems to understand (not even him!) but he will not like he gets it all. Embrace that boy who loves you for who you are. Kiss that boy who misses you when you don't respond. Hold his hand tighter when he shares his stories. Listen when he says how important you are and most of all believe him when he says - there will never be anyone else.

Some first relationships are beautiful.
They are GOLDEN.

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TAGS: lessons relationship taught us, relationship lessons, love lessons, first relationship lesson

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