Date: 2019-05-15 18:14:11
It was a windy winter night and the sky was so clear and quiet. That's the first thing I remember about the night. The night I broke it off with the guy who had held my heart for 3 years. He was a friend of mine, we were from the same city, but never knew each other till we got introduced by someone else in a different city.
It is weird what an alien city does to you. It was my first time away from home and I searched for the feeling of it in every new thing I saw. I missed home. Maybe that's why when four years ago when my friend introduced me to him, I had melted. I saw him and thought this is home.
We talked about our city with great passion, he told me of the roads he had raced on with his friends and I told him my favorite tree where I used to sit with my grandma as she recited stories. I was obvious that both of us were very different people, but the feeling of home brought us together.
I didn't see it then, but I idealized him. I thought his possessiveness was romantic at first. He would get jealous of any boy who would even sit next to me as we hung out in college. I thought it showed that I mattered to him. As I said, I idealized him.
In him, I saw what I wanted to see. He would make efforts for me and I would do the same for him. I was in love. I loved that he knew how I liked my tea, he knew exactly where my birthmark was on my stomach and he kissed it every time we made out, he knew that I always slept on the right side of the bed so he always made sure to leave the space for me. He knew me. And I thought I knew him too.
I was in love and I gave my everything to it. He had become my home. We were so passionate with each other and he would handle with so much care that I often joked that he acts like a mother taking care of her first born.
But then, it started getting complicated. His jealousy turned irrational and angry. He's got more and more possessive and started questioning me about every man I used to have interaction with. He started fighting. We had fought before, but the magic of first love was enough to soothe out any lasting impacts on our relationship. It wasn't the same anymore.
I drew the line one night when he slapped me. He was angry about some random guy who sent me a message request with a creepy text. He took it out on me. We got into an argument and he slapped me. I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore and ran off.
It felt liberating, leaving him. He tried to contact me a few times, but I didn't respond immediately. When I did, I tried to tell him rationally that it is probably for the best and that we ought to see other people. He didn't take it nicely. He shouted at me and told me that he would ruin me.
That night he messaged me some nudes which he had clicked of me and threatened to send them to my family and upload them on the internet. I couldn't. I couldn't believe that this was the person that I was in love with at a time.
I begged him. I begged him to let it go for the sake of the beautiful memories that we had shared with each other. He never really listened. He believed that I had betrayed him and also thought that I cheated on him with another friend of ours. He had said that if I tried to tell anyone else about this, he would upload it immediately.
I could not even imagine how devastated my family would be. I felt so bloody helpless. One my flatmates knew something was up, she had seen me crying enough times. When she asked what was going on, I told her about everything. I couldn't control myself. I told her how it hurt to see the person who at one point meant my life to me betray me like this. I told her about my fears about the leak that he promised if I told anyone. Everything.
She hugged me throughout and told me that she will handle it. Apparently, she had a mutual friend with him who was coincidentally a hacker. She assured me that she would delete any personal data of mine that he might have with him. She kept her promise and did just that.
We filed an FIR against him after it was made sure that the data was deleted. I submitted the screenshots as evidence of harassment. He was furious. He still blames me for everything wrong that had happened in his life. I still lay awake some nights wondering how did I ever love him.
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