'I Was 26 When I Got Married. Things Were Rosy Initially, But' - A Story Of A Lawyer Who Now Helps Women From Domestic Abuse

There comes a time in everybody's life when we plan to get married and settle down with our in-laws and husband, just like a happy family. But, there are some evil people in the society who do not respect their daughter-in-law (personally or for her profession).

Millions of women in India are the victims of domestic abuse and the circumstances can be different in many cases, including, lack of family support in her profession, narrow-minded, suppressing her & her family because her family is not too rich as them and the rest factors.

... And here is a story of Vandana Shah (lawyer) whose story is no different, but... she had a powerful ending.

Vandana shared her initial life where she was married in a reputed and a business class rich family, where everything was all rosy, her in-laws were good; that's what it looked like to her, earlier!

But, everything went from rainbows to black and white as soon as the years passed. She said:

"I was 26 when I got married. Things were rosy initially, but soon my in-laws attitude towards me changed. They knew that I worked in advertising before marriage, but after they said that 'cheap women' work in advertising & now, I should adhere to the social etiquette of rich families & start a Kindergarten.
This didn't sit with me, so I declined."

via GIPHY

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After days, her in-laws started pointing finger on her dressing style, saying bad things about her family, even, they blamed her for getting married to their son because he was rich.

"After that, they started putting me down. Every day they'd say things like -- 'You don't know how to dress', 'You don't know how to talk', 'Your parents are no more & you married our son for money'. My husband was silent throughout."

(With due respect to in-laws, if you can't take care of someone's daughter who came to your house to spread love and to take care of you, then please don't allow your son to get married.)

As soon as time passed, things went out of the board. She was helpless, less confident, living life with bruises, crushed & pounded with hatred and the insulting remarks on her character. But, she still was hoping to get things to settle down until they said to her to leave the house at 2 AM.

"Over time I lost all confidence. Things got worse when one day, during an argument my husband hit me! I just stared at him, shocked.

The beatings got worse. I'd be bruised almost every day, but everyone turned a blind eye. I was told to save my marriage, I was married into money, & that was more important than my well-being.

The final blow came a year & half into the marriage. In the middle of an argument, my in-laws asked me to leave at 2 in the morning! When I refused, they physically pushed me out."

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With no home to live, feeling so lost, she went to her maid's house,

"I remember feeling so lost that night; I had no money & no one to go to. In a daze, I went to my maid, Bobby's place. Even though she understood the situation, but she acted as if it was normal.

That was when something snapped & I decided to pull myself together.

The next day, I took up a job at an NGO to sustain. I took up another job correcting Grammar in Training Manuals. I lived with Bobby until I had money for rent to move into another house. I felt more confident because there was nobody abusing me -- I then filed for divorce.
But I realized there were many hurdles -- I was exploited because of my lack of legal knowledge. I finally decided to enroll myself at Law School when I was 36. Not only to help myself but even other women who faced domestic violence."

Today, she is a happy woman and a divorce lawyer who has helped thousands of women. She even has authored two books, and launched an App named 'Divorcekart' which is India's first legal app that focuses on answering legal queries regarding divorce instantly. She is living her life queen size with loads of travel to amazing places & a great cook. And thankfully, she does not have to follow any unexpected 'social etiquette' for the other public. Even as a guy, one last thing which moved me from her talk is when she said:

"I'm not as wealthy as my ex-husband's family, but let me tell you I've never felt more free & alive before!"

Vandana Shah Ma'am, you inspired many right now! We feel so proud to see that you are helping other women who face domestic violence. We are obliged to write about you in this space.