Just imagine that it is a fine Saturday morning and you have a warm and comfortable day planned ahead for yourself, but then suddenly you receive an invitation to have a conversation with your favorite celebrity, I cannot say much about anybody else but I have had this scenario play in my mind quite a few times, call it a hobby only now.
Now whilst some would question the futility of this point all I have to say is, kid, give yourself a break, run wild with your imagination. Make cupcakes with Thor, go help Hercules and if there still is time in your hand, Gigi could use a manicure companion too.
But with dreams come nightmares too, and if miracles come true, then listen pal, if you do not have the right words in the above dream sequence then it can end up worse than a Stephen King book.
So now, as I suggested that I have been doing this quite religiously now, I could share a few pointers with you on some basic stuff before you bump in your favourite actor/celebrity. So if Jennifer Lawrence (my favorite celebrity) and I were meeting for brunch, I most certainly would be somersaulting in my head with excitement, but would keep cool on the outside for sure, my plans would be to catch up drinks later in the evening too and not scare her off so quickly. So think about the good friend you can be to your favorite celebrity and say a warm "hello", smile and make eye contact.
Now every nerve inch in my head would want to hug her, but do not forget this folks, we are yet to be best friends so play it off cool and keep some space and just go with the age-old conversation breaker "how you doing?"
Now that we have the greetings cross-checked, JLaw should lead on first, this is how we would know if she is interested in being the gal pals, we are going to be and if it starts off well then it should stay well too for which we would plan our words in advance before blurting it out to her. An idol she may be but she still is a person and there is nothing we would want to say that would hurt her.
But I worship Lawrence and some of you might not or might not know about her so if you bump into her one day and cannot recognize her then do not ask how and from where do you know them, trust me this one did not even go well in my head. The same would go for any celebrity in general.
If there is one thing that will make or break the deal is objectification, if I would do this to Jen let alone drinks she would not even finish the promised brunch with me. So if you think their performance in a certain condition was better than their other one, just remember they cater to a larger audience and have to do it for their professionalism and you have to love them for who they are, period.
Now if Lawrence has a movie coming and the trailer suggests she might not die or die in the end that is one question I am not going to her or any such question that any celebrity has been grilled over for years because folks deep down they are the same people as us with short temperaments and friends do not bore, they make things fun, ask them who their favorite celebrity is.
And if ever she decides to go gaga or has gone gaga (Lohan fans take note) do not be critical of their choices, be open-minded instead, and respond neutrally.
If so far they have been interested in you, your imagination is worth writing poetry on and kneel on your knees and pray to every deity for this one dream to come true now that you have written a script on it also, o ahead friends, kneels, beg, pray!
Hasta la vista.
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