Date: 2018-09-16 15:25:27
I got this feeling of doing something creative and doing something out my life. So, I went to my family and said, I want to work and learn something good which can be beneficial for me in the future. Their reactions were, "hmmm", "I see", "why, do some course", "you won't be able to do a job, its tough". So I started thinking, maybe they are right or I should just focus on my studies for time being. But then, my brother, who is younger than me came and said; "I was thinking to do something of my own, like a business". Suddenly, their reactions were, "wow", "we are so proud that you have started thinking about your life". And they decided to invest in him and what not. Started thinking about what all they can do for him so that he can feel motivated. Then, there was this feeling of jealousy within me, that why I was neglected and ignored. I just wanted to do a good job so that I can invest my time in a good way.
There, decided to face them again and said, I have applied for a job in this particular company. They were pretty okay with it and by okay I mean, "oh good, it's good than getting bored at home or going out with friends", "work till the time you get settled". And sometimes, girls get to listen, "not now, wait for your husband, if he says yes, then we are happy".
Our work is always get neglected by saying, she is doing just to pass her time or until she gets married. Our brothers get this treatment of VIP. His extra hours are productive and our extra hours or coming home late is, what will you get from this. Don't work too much on laptops, your eyes will get affected, come home on time, don't think too much, or ask your brothers about this, he can help you he has better knowledge than you. We generally get underestimated or I would say we are taken very lightly. Our knowledge and hard work are just the way to not get bored in life. If you working than generally, people might be thinking, she was bored or she is just running away from the topic of marriage. No, our mind does not stop there, we too think about our career and we too want to do something fruitful so we can get some respect as your sons.
But, living in this country, I think its very difficult. They want their wives to be independent but their sisters to be homely so that she can get adjusted in any surroundings. They often forget that sisters only will be wives someday. Much social awareness coming like "beti bachao beti padhao", it's good, very good in fact but what about her dreams about doing what she wants. Rather than forcing your dreams on her, forces her dreams on herself, that will help her better and might she think, you think about her too. Girls won't say if they feel neglected or ignored, they would ignore it because she knows there is no point. No point in explaining that they are wrong or mean.
They are many families who are supportive too but in our society the maximum people still have this mindset that does whatever you want to do but after getting settled. What if later you have to shut it down or what if it doesn't work out in the way you want? Rather than motivating her, we demotivate her by putting all these thoughts in her mind. No one can be blamed for this; we all have grown with this thinking and it's pretty practical for parents thinking about your future in-laws. But at least we can pay attention to her and make her feel that she is wanted and her decisions or advice are taken as seriously as male members of the family. Let's change a bit about ourselves and treat our sisters, wives, and friends with respect.
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